Attention Everyone, Attention Everyone! We have a crisis on our hands! What is this you say well Mr. Bradley is going away! We don’t really want him to go so here are some of our viewers responses to why he should stay.
Bella- We can’t lose one of our teachers and a very important coach to our soccer and track team.
Anonymous Viewer- Maybe it is for the better. He could get a wife this way.
Bekah- He is a great person and an amazing person.
Anonymous Viewer- He is the most popular teacher and we will miss him so much.
Jade- He has the least boring classes and they are so much fun.
Anonymous Viewer- He is fun!
Mr. Poppe- No comment, no comment furthermore no comment and in conclusion no comment.
Abbie- He gives a good vibe to the middle school and he’s he’s um um really into teaching the classes.
Cayleigh- School is interesting when he is around.
Anonymous Viewer- He gives lots of joy to all of his students.
Mrs. Zillinger- He is a called and trained Lutheran teacher who is a male and has a positive attitude to bring students and their families closer to their faith.
Anonymous Viewer- He is more than just a teacher he is one of the best friends I have ever had.
Well that is all we have to say.
Oh and one more thing DON’T GO!!!!!!!!!!!
By: The One And Only… And Smash It With A Hammer.
There have been some mysterious rumors circling around lately about an amazing event. Two Fridays ago, most of the seventh grade (including me) was mysteriously NOT HUNGRY for lunch!!! This shocking phenomenon was observed and commented on by an anonymous contact, who seems to think that Mr. Bradley was the main cause of this sudden case of satiation. On Friday, the whole seventh grade participated in Mercantilism Day during history class, which is right before lunch. Everyone was to bring in a product to trade or barter with. (Those who didn’t bring in an item got to be slaves.) Food was definitely the main product, of course. When would it not be? There were cookies, donuts, candy, jelly beans, and the famous Party in a Cone, which was a stunning hit.
Everyone traded well, and people got lots of food! There were a few stingy traders, however. Ellie, naming no names, was generously offering one Rollo for two cookies!! Harrumph!! All of the slaves (except two) were sold, with Mr. Bradley acting as the slave trader. I think that the seventh graders all had lots of fun, though poor Mrs. Zillinger had to deal with the sugar crazy kids all afternoon. It was an awesome experience, and Mr. Bradley should definitely do it again next year! Thanks for reading!
By: The Reading Random Roaring Raging Raiding Radiant Radical Rambunctious Zebra
Are you tired? Do you hate waking up early in the morning? Is your alarm clock your worst enemy? Well, then vote yes to the Presidential Cabinet’s new proposal (and then get a councilor to help you stop viewing your alarm clock with such menace) and prevent the students at Shepherd of the Hills from feeling the same way!
The Presidential Cabinet recently had a meeting where they decided to reveal a secret idea that they had been hiding for a long time- that next year, school will start at 8:45 instead of 8:15!
Of course, this is not a sure thing and it probably won’t be decided for a while. Regardless, I personally am elated that such a thing is even possible! Thank you, Presidential Cabinet!
Thanks would also be due to you if you would vote for this amazing change to happen! Just email firstname.lastname@example.org explaining why you think school should start later next year. Scientific evidence would be especially useful. If we like your reason we will add it to a packet we are compiling and use it to persuade the teaching staff at Shepherd that this change should be made.
Please support this idea and tell us through email why you think this proposition should be passed. We would really appreciate it!
By A. Nonny Mous
Soon we will be welcoming Baby Cannon into the Shepherd family! I know I speak for the whole middle school when we say that while we are very excited to meet the new addition to the Cannon family, though we are going to miss our favorite ELAR teacher. There are questions on everyone’s mind regarding the new little Cannon: Is Baby Cannon a boy or a girl? What will Baby Cannon’s name be? When will Baby Cannon’s Birthday be? How little will Baby Cannon be? Will Baby Cannon look like Clark? The most frequently asked questions by far are: Is Baby Cannon a boy or a girl? What will Baby Cannon’s name be?
Bekah: I think Baby Cannon will be a boy and I think Harvey is a cute name!
Kyra: I don’t know… If Baby Cannon is a boy I like Gordan for a name and if Baby Cannon is a girl I like Valerie.
Jaina: I think Baby Cannon will be a girl named Melody.
Ellie: Baby Cannon will definately be a child with a name.
Mr. Bradley: An alien. Qularnac 4.
Well I think we all know who is wrong! (cough, cough, MR. BRADELY!!!!!!!)
We will just have to see next week! Congratulation Mrs. Cannon!
The talent show is coming up really fast here at Shepherd and this year we have many talented students! We have a variety of awesome acts ranging from whistling to singing to acting to jump roping. Students are quite nervous about this Thursday's shows. The drama class will be doing skits for the show and Mr. Bradley is very proud of the skits that they have written. Not only are there actors but there are also some amazing singers with a variety of beautiful voices! There are even some other acts like dancing, whistling, and even jump roping! I got to interview Kaiden from third grade who will be whistling for the talent show. Here is what he said.
Interviewer: are you going to be whistling for the talent show?
Interviewer: are you nervous about it?
Interviewer: are you excited to be on stage?
Interviewer: who's going to be there to watch you?
Kaiden: my grandma and my aunt Nicki
Interviewer: and finally are you excited to see the other acts?
As you can tell from this interview many people will be nervous for the talent show. However Jesus gave these children these talents so that they may shine for him. So come watch the talent show. It'll be fun!
BY: UM OF UMBRIDGE
A shadowy, mysterious, and giggly figure is looming in the distance here at Shepherd. Is it a ghost? Is it a vampire? Is it an ostrich with bad eating habits? No! It’s the Talent Show.
On the sixteenth of this month, students and their friends will gather in the gymnasium to show off their talents. Several piano pieces have been entered as well as some skits and a host of other acts (unfortunately the No-Homework-For-The-Rest-Of-The-Year act, which students were hoping the middle school teachers might do despite said teachers’ lack of knowledge pertaining to said act, did not make it to the Talent Show).
Regardless, this year’s Talent Show is sure to be a baaaa-ing success. I, A. Nonny Mous, snuck around the school building yesterday disguised as a rabid brick and found students everywhere brushing up on and adding final details to their performances. Each act that I saw was more disguise-ruining than the next, so I had to be careful (my disguise started running when I laughed till I cried in the drama department). But these acts are secret until the performance, so if you want to learn more, you’ll have to come on Thursday the 16th. Performances are at 2:00 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. We’ll see you there!
By A. Nonny Mous
Tis the months of B’s and P’s, which are otherwise known as birthdays and parties!!! How many people are born in January and February?!?!? Phew!!! To start off with, I’m sure we all had fun celebrating the New Year. Party Number One! Then, we had quite a few birthdays!! Mr. Poppe, Clark, Jaina, and Chance all celebrated their birthdays in January. (There are probably several that I’m missing, too!!) Let’s see, that’s now four birthdays. Next, we have February, which includes at least two birthdays (if not more), and St. Valentine’s Day classroom parties!! That’s now three celebrations!! (Four if you count the talent show!). Okay, now you get to do the math. One plus four plus four equals at least nine birthdays and parties!! Oh, and the Super Bowl!! Now that’s ten!! Carrots and pineapples, that’s a lot!
Oh yeah, one more P thing – paste. This mania of the copy, paste, and cut game is slowly but surely taking over the middle school!! You can hear very odd conversations if you listen in on people’s lunch talks!!! Watch what you say, Middle Schoolers. You never know when someone will decide to pop out and yell, “COPY!”, and then you’re stuck! I hope, however that this does not happen too often to middle schoolers, and that everyone has a fantabulous week!!
By: The Reading Random Roaring Raging Raiding Radiant Zebra
We are in a new semester! This is third quarter, and we’re changing things up! New things are happening in the middle school! I’ve been added to the writers of articles this semester. There are three required electives for middle school. Music, drama and art are the lucky three. Other electives include (but aren’t limited to) Sports Skills, Teacher aiding, and two more that I can’t remember right now. Change of electives isn’t the only thing that’s happening this second semester. Events are coming up that you might want to know about! A few honorable mentions are the Talent Show, Fine Arts Night, and Lutheran Schools Week. The Talent Show is February 18, so you’d better get your act together (pun intended)! Next there’s Lutheran School’s Week! This special week is coming up next week so bring on the rocks! The theme for Lutheran School’s Week is Upon the Rock. We’ve got some new interesting dress up days too! Participate in them, and you might win a prize! Finally there is Fine Arts Night which isn’t until much later, but I think it’s worth righting down. (wrong righting spelling on purpose!) It’s sometime in April or May according to Mr. Bradley. I won’t be back next week with an article, but I will be back in two weeks! Write you later!
By: The Fleaing Demon Lemur Llama
Hi! I have spent a lot of time in the office this week! No, I was not in trouble. I was interviewing Mrs. Black about the soup supper here at Shepherd. As you may have noticed it is super cold! In fact it is snowing! Do you know what every cold snowy person needs? Soup! And what better place to get it than the Advent Soup Supper! Tonight the teachers will be providing soup and dessert at the supper to warm the tummies and hearts of the students and other soup-supper-goers. The soup suppers are a tradition that has been here at shepherd for over a decade! The soup supper gives shepherd families more opportunities for fellowship with the rest of the students and congregation. It also gives extra chances to celebrate the coming of Jesus. You also get free food, who wouldn’t want that? So be sure to head on over to the soup supper and service! Wednesdays at 5:45 (PM)- 6:30 ( also PM)
THE BALLAD OF BOB PART lll:
Bob had reason to worry. Bekah was having second thoughts. His last name was so horrid, too horrid to write here, that her affection for him was dampened. Bekah then decided that her love would overcome these scruples. Many boys were beating him up with the possible intention of winning Bekah over for themselves. Many boys began to beat Bob up, furious over his engagement to Bekah. Some speculate that the reason for Bob’s abuse is because of Bekah! Do the boys want Bekah for themselves? Are they just plain annoying? Will they get mad at me for writing this? Well, yes to the last one, but find out next article in THE BALLAD OF BOB PART llll, the Bob’s Final Stand!
By: The Princess Peaches Pygmy Puff (Who has new glasses!)
The president of middle school (Ellie) and her cabinet (Kyra, Reilly, and Noah) have been announced, but what happens now? One thing that is happening now is petitions. So far, two petitions have been submitted. As of today, only one has been made official. Before the election, students in fourth through eighth grade weren’t allowed in the fish bowl. Before I explain more about the petition, let me tell you what the fish bowl is. The fish bowl is an indent in the ground between the swings and the playground. This indent is shaped like a square, so it is called a bowl. The fish part came around because Shepherd of the Hills is a school. Ha-ha! If you don’t get that, it was a joke because fish travel in schools and SOTH is a school. Get it? Ha-ha! I like to make fish jokes because I am part fish myself. Now, about that petition. The petition was made by the president, and the president suggested in that petition that older students may use the fishbowl when the younger students aren’t there. The petition for fishbowl use passed through the teachers quickly and very soon after, an announcement was made at the end of lunchtime. Mr. Bradley announced that the petition was successful! Fourth through eighth graders are now allowed to be in the fishbowl when younger students aren’t’ around. Students are very happy that their president has made changes to boundaries. Another petition that has been made but not passed yet is that the process to get a petition passed could be shorter. Anyway, this is the Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick signing off!
By: The Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick