First of all JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS…
Jesus is the reason for the season. The end. Just kidding! This article CANNOT be this short…
Welcome back, Sherpherders? What are we? Oh yeah- Rams. I, for one, am happy that I get to go back to school after winter break (who’s excited??!!). In this crazy season, we usually forget what it’s all about. Presents, decorations, holiday traditions, and visitations with family are the craze during the holidays. An interesting question first, though: Why do we say happy holidays when there’s only two, but in February (a very special month for me) when there’s more, we don’t say anything special about them? Anyway, the reason for the season is sometimes lost in all the hustle and bustle. What is the reason for the season? Maybe it could be the Christmas Day service, which somehow seems to take longer than usual….But that doesn’t make much sense. It could possibly be the excitement, the anxiousness of waiting for Santa then opening presents on Christmas, but that isn’t it either. The reason for the season is often missed, but it is very important. For us to understand the reason for the season, we have to look time and time again at the nativity scene. As we take in Mary, Joseph, shepherds, and wonder where all the sheep went, we realize that Jesus is the true reason for the season. Jesus is the reason for any season! He created the seasons! This is the Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick signing off.
(Bob’s wedding is coming up!![Come and crash it! This is the editor, by the way])
Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick
The Mysterious Mrs. Bacchus
This week’s interview was very last minute notice. Fortunately, I was able to catch a willing to answer questions Mrs. Bacchus in the front office with my trusty sidekick, Princess Peaches Pygmy Puff. Mrs. Bacchus said during the interview that she does a lot of things in the office. She answers any questions visitors may have; she answers the phone, and covers for the staff people that aren’t there on that specific day. These are only some of the things Mrs. Bacchus does! Like most teachers, Mrs. Bacchus arrives at school at 7:30. Some things that people wouldn’t usually know about Mrs. Bacchus is that she has 6 kids and many more grandchildren! I wonder how she keeps track of them all! Organizer by nature, Mrs. Bacchus’ job is cut out for her. She likes to organize things, and that is essentially what her job is all about. Another interesting thing that Peaches and I noticed was the bubble wrap on the wall. When asked what it was for, she said it was for stressed out employees to bang their heads against. Mrs. Bacchus has been here since the school started in 1985! During the interview, we looked outside at the snowy cold, and Mrs. Bacchus noted that she liked the cold weather. Mrs. Bacchus’ favorite part of her job is seeing the kids parade by the front office to go downstairs in the morning. Other Mrs. Bacchus favorites are:
Activity: reading and sewing
Book: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (a book about capitalism)
Next Article: Tell us which teacher or staff person we should interview next!
By: The Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick
As you all probably know, Mrs. Monson is our amazing, multi-tasking librarian, secretary, and cake-baker. However, you probably don’t know these things:
Mrs. Monson’s birthday is on April 9, ____ (this part is censored to relate no date and make no cake. And also to make some nifty alliterations). She grew up in Greeley, CO- a true native of Colorado! Not surprisingly for a librarian-cum-secretary-cum-cake-baker, her favorite subject is language arts (or English if you prefer).
Despite the fact that she is about the coolest human at Shepherd of the Hills (yes, human- all that multi-tasking is not, in fact, magic) she does have a favorite planet- Venus.
Now this one I know you don’t know that I know that you- wait, what?- never mind! In other words, get this- if she hadn’t become a teacher, she would have wanted to be a hairdresser! I mean, how awesome is that?
Her favorite color is teal- my favorite color too, despite the fact that it clashes with the yellow-bones-black-eye-sockets look- and her favorite year is 1967, when she married Mr. Monson. Now you do the math so you can tell your teachers that you are smart and shouldn’t have to go to school- next year, how many years will she have been married?
That’s all for today on amazing Mrs. Monson. Don’t forget to thank her the next time you see her!
FROM THE PERSON WHO DIED OF BOREDOM IN THE D.M.V.
I caught the Mysterious Mr. Bradley and asked him some questions that I had for him. Mr. Poppe, was also there as a “translator,” but I wasn’t questioning him. Mr. Bradley teaches 6 classes every day. Those classes are of the classifications of Science, History, and Technology. Since Mr. Bradley is a teacher, he must be at school at either 7 or 7:20 depending on the day. During the interview, Mr. Bradley stated that he likes when students ask him questions and he likes interacting for students. He also said that every day that ends in the letters d-a-y is a bad day. I don’t know if Mr. Poppe’s translation was wrong, or if that’s what he actually said. He also said that a few things he doesn’t like about his job are when he doesn’t want to talk to people, he can’t just stop talking, he needs to teach and there is a serious lack of average students. Mr. Bradley surprisingly doesn’t drink alcohol even though he is over the age of 21 (we think). Another surprising thing about MR. Bradley is that he didn’t want to be a teacher when he grew up. He wanted to be a waffle cone. This is surprising because Mr. Bradley is a teacher……otherwise I wouldn’t be interrogating him. The Bradley’s favorite color is polka dots, he eats 5th graders as food, he likes Reese’s peanut butter cups, his favorite kind of donut is maple bacon, his favorite activity is watching soccer, and his favorite sport is soccer (duh). Mr. Bradley likes dragons, and he says that is his favorite animal. Mr. Bradley is a very interesting Waffle Cone Teacher and we hope to interview him again soon!
In comments please tell us which teacher or staff person we should interview in our next article!
By: The Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick
Though Bob is not a teacher, I decided to interview him. Kyra was the translator; she is fluent in Globese. He had some interesting thoughts to share on Jenna, Mr. Bradley, and the world in general. He was rather grumpy, do to people cutting down his best friends, the trees next door.
DDHH(me): Mr. Bradley has been talking about turning you into gas for his car. How do you feel about this?
BOB: GET RID OF MR. BRADLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DDHH: Okay, okay! Next question. Do you still like Jenna?
BOB: That’s none of your business, you little seedling!!!! However, I wish she’d never left.
DDHH: What was that?
DDHH: What’s your favorite color?
BOB: Green and red.
DDHH: That’s two colors, but never mind. How do you feel about people cutting down those trees next door?
BOB: They were my best friends! (sob) If Mr. Bradley is behind that horrible tragedy, wanting to use them as gas, I will uproot myself and charge at him!!!!!
DDHH: What do you think about those nice girls dressing you at recess?
BOB: It’s undignified!! They keep dressing me in stuff that’s oddly 90’s!!
DDHH: (musingly) Strange, that’s what Jenna said.
BOB: You mean she saw me in THIS?!?!?!?
DDHH: Yep! Why, do you still like her?
BOB: Nothing of the sort!!!! Now, goodbye!!!!!!
DDHH: Hmm, strange. I’ll keep you updated on the adventures of Bob! Goodbye!
Very strange!! Could it be that Bob is mourning the loss of Jenna? We will soon find out!
By: The Duchess of Deadly Hiccups in the Hall (DDHH)
I interviewed one of the best teachers in the entire school. She is nice, friendly, and is easy to talk to. She is one of the ELC teachers at Shepherd of the Hills. She is Mrs.Susan B. She was my pre-k teacher and I see her around a lot. So the first question I asked her was What is your favorite part about your job? She answered with I really love teaching little kids about Jesus and what He did for them. The next question I asked her was What is your favorite hobby? She said that her favorite hobby was reading. I also had asked How long have you been teaching here? She responded saying that she had worked here for 11 years thats a really long time. It takes a lot of dedication to stay for that long so Good Job for that. I also asked what her favorite color is? I was surprised to hear that it was blue. Blue is a pretty color but I always thought that her favorite color would be purple like a lot of the ELC teachers. The final question that I asked Mrs. Susan B. was What is your favorite food? She had thought about, but she had responded with pizza. So in conclusion Mrs.Susan loves to teach about Jesus she loves to read she has worked here for 11years and she loves the color blue and finally her favorite food is pizza.
By: Kandy with a K
Contrary to common belief, Mr. Poppe is not a native Coloradoan, but was born in Racine, Wisconsin! He has a twin brother and three other sisters, and has had, at some point in time, a guinea pig, a goldfish, and a hamster. Alas for Mr. Bradley, Mr. Poppe does not like polka dots, or the color pink, and his favorite sport is basketball. Not surprisingly, his favorite sport to watch is basketball as well.
Despite popular rumors, the truth remains that Mr. Poppe NOT an evil teacher who exists solely to torture students with homework. When I asked if he enjoyed giving students homework, his only reply was ”Not particularly.” However this does leave room for debate as “not particularly” is not a particularly specific answer. Was Mr. Poppe avoiding the question? We shall never know.
Evil teacher or no evil teacher, Mr. Poppe is a true master at word response. When I cleverly and suddenly snapped “Bananas” he considered for a moment, repeated “Bananas” slowly, and then said “Minions. Are we doing word response?” At which point I nodded sagely and beat a stately retreat to the exit.
Mr. Poppe’s secret isn’t normal, that’s for sure. Everyone has a secret life, including Christian Learning teachers (well, everyone has a secret life except for I, the P.W.D.O.B.A.T.D.M.V., who doesn’t have a life at all- I’m dead, after all). Now you know what Mr. Poppe’s is- maybe someday someone else will know yours (evil laughter).
The Person Who Died Of Boredom At The D.M.V., signing off.
Since the staff person I, the Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick, wanted to interview was evading me, I decided to interview Mrs. Hoza. Mrs. Hoza is a very busy person, teaching about 5 classes a day. On a normal school day, Mrs. Hoza needs to be at school at 7:30 which is about the time Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Sticks wake up! Believe it or not, students aren't the only people who have homework to do after school! Teachers' homework consists of preparing for all the classes during the day and grading previous homework! Think of all the work that you as a student have to do and multiply that by about 10 or so, and that's how much homework a teacher has! This makes it easy for some people to dislike thier job. Mrs. Hoza, however, loves her job with a passion. "I love the topics I teach, the students, and all the other teachers I work with!" Mrs. Hoza said when interviewed. An interesting thing about Mrs. Hoza is she really hates squirrels and avoids them at all costs. Another noticeable thing recently noted was MRS. HOZA HAS PURPLE HAIR! Unlike we recently thought, Mrs. Hoza did not dye her hair because of a contest, but just because she wanted to! Concerning the recent move from middle school to second grade, Mrs. Hoza said, "I miss middle school, but I like the second graders." More Mrs. Hoza favorites:
Candy: donuts, even though it's a pastry not a candy
Thing to do: dance
Please comment to tell us what teacher you would like us to do next!
By The Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick
We all love our Mrs. Jennings. She is our wonderful principal and we are lucky to have her. She has many favorite things and some may surprise you. Like Christmas is her favorite holiday, but we all could have guessed that. I mean who doesn’t like Christmas. Even though Christmas is in winter her favorite season happens to be fall and guess what, her favorite color is pink! Like I said earlier we are lucky to have her because if she had a choice she would be relaxing in Hawaii right know. The reason for her being in Colorado is she loves the weather here. Also she loves to watch movies, like her favorite movie “Hope Floats”. Speaking of watching things she also likes to watch hockey. Her favorite thing about being a principal is the kids. She loves kids and she loves to be with them. Speaking of kids she has some of her own. She has three daughters and four step kids. Also she has two dogs. Ever since she was a kid she has wanted to be a teacher, but if she wasn’t the principal right know she would be a consular. Shepherd of the Hills loves Mrs. Jennings and she is a fantastic principal.
By: And Smash It With A Hammer
Ever wonder things about Mrs. Cannon? Here’s all you ever wanted to know about The New Edition to our Middle School!!!!!
For those of you who don’t know, Mrs. Cannon just recently moved from first grade to middle school. When asked about how it was going, she said, “It’s very different, and a little scary, because the kids are as tall as me!” (Well, most of them anyway.)
Mrs. Cannon has lived in Texas for about twenty – eight years. The hottest temperature she remembers is one hundred nineteen degrees!! Her son Clark was born on January 29th, 2015. She says that the funniest thing he likes to do is give her raspberries – he thinks that the noise is hilarious! These are her basic favorites: Color – blue | Animal – dog | Subject – English (of course!) | And her favorite food is eggrolls.
Congrats, everyone! The Cannon Conundrum has been solved!
The Duchess of Deadly Hiccups in the Hall
P.S. – NEWS FLASH! MRS.CANNON IS HAVING A BABY!!!!! THE DUE DATE IS APRIL 23, 2017. WE WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON WHETHER IT IS A BOY OR A GIRL!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS, MRS. CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!