Happy Holidays, Shepherdians! Now that Christmas is approaching, we can look forward to cookies, presents, and let’s not forget JESUS CHRIST this season!
Despite our differences, dead bodies (oh, and all you mortals, too) get together with our families (or tombstones). Collegiate students are coming home for the holidays and homework is a no-no for the break- that is, it had better be (menacing snarl and angry emoji).
Here at Shepherd we are celebrating for the holidays by working on our Christmas program and being more obnoxious than usual (I mean endearing! We are very endearing!) The Christmas program is chugging along with both songs and speaking parts getting memorized as quickly as possible, to the chagrin of the speakers. However, their complaints were rebuffed successfully when a certain teacher (we all know who) replied, “Nobody cares.”
Even though nobody cares about the memorization orders, we all care about parties!!! These upcoming celebrations have students screaming Christmas carols (the lack of any melody is shameful) and the teachers cowering under their desks until the noise stops (aka, when recess ends). However, we are all in the traditional Christmas spirit started by Ebenezer Scrooge and continued by Hollywood- Bah, humbug! (and a Happy New Year!)
Merry Christmas from Shepherd’s one and only dead body!
By The Person Who Died Of Boredom At The D.M.V.
As many of you know Bob is contently being beat up by 7th and 8th grade boys after the news of his and Bekah’s engagement got out. I decided to get to the bottom of it. I decided to interview John and Josh. The interview went as follows:
Q: Do you guys beat up Bob?
A: Both- Yes.
A: Josh- I like the look on Bekah’s face as she shrieks helplessly trying to stop us.
John- Bekah doesn’t like it and it’s funny.
Q: What do you feel about their engagement?
A: Both- Fine if we can still beat him up.
Q: Do you think everyone who is beating him up’s reasoning is the same?
A: Josh- Yes
John- I think Brandon and Andrew’s reasons are the same.
Q: Some people are saying that the reasons of beating Bob up is so Bekah is single and you can date her yourself, how do you respond to these theories?
A: Josh- What? No!
John: I will chop him down.
Well, that’s that. I had to make a quick getaway when they realized I was writing down everything they said. During the interview I was also accused of using a “Quick Quotes Quill”, thanks Josh.
THE BALLAD OF BOB PART ll:
After Rand’s attack, Jenna never thought of Bob again. Until Mr. Bradley began sending her photos of the growing relationship between Bob and new student Bekah. It began when Bekah noted that Bob doesn’t wear clothes. She then proceeded to clothe him every day until she was head over heels in love. She then decided she could not stand to be apart from her love any longer. They became a couple and after a week of dated Bob proposed. He decided to propose quickly so he did not lose this love like he did Jenna. To be continued next article…
By: Princess Peaches Pygmy Puff
The Wednesday of November 15, 2016, students here at Shepherd were surprised with a dance lesson for chapel! Soul to Sole came to Shepherd of the Hills and showed us how to dance in the gym.
Soul to Sole is an interpretive dance group. They give out lessons as well and after dancing for a while, most of the student body here at Shepherd looked like they wanted to take some dance lessons.
First the students warmed up with some stretches. This dead body couldn’t help but laugh at some as they tried to touch their toes (It’s easy! Just bend your knees. A lot).
Next, they danced! Soul to Sole led both teachers and kids in a step by step dance to some catchy music. At first they were pretty shy, but after they grew more comfortable, the moves were busted out!
Finally, Soul to Sole showed off their moves. They danced a scene from Brave New World, their upcoming performance. No joke: I, a dead body, got goosebumps! On my BONES!
I wasn’t the only one shivering. Everyone sat entranced by the music and dance for the entire performance. When they finished, there were several calls for an encore.
SOTH was sad to see them go. Maybe they can come again sometime. J
By: The Person Who Died of Boredom in the DMV
And the President Is…