The coconut crab, a gigantic, terrifing creature of mass destruction! They are set to take over America! These crabs surround us from both the Atlantic and the Pacific. They live in Florida and Hawaii and could easily conquer our coasts. They eat coconuts, but also each other! They even eat their own limbs! They are super creepy huge monstrocities who I am convinced are secretely planning our demise! They have a better sense of smell than some dogs and rely on that ability to hunt at night when their prey cannot see them coming (Super, Super, creepidelic!!!). In addition, they often steal silverware (knives and forks) which could easily be utilised as weapons!!!!! They also have claws that can crack open a coconut!!!!!
These animals are scheming, and might have already be in the school! Coconut crabs are are a variety of hermit crabs baby coconut crabs look exactly like hermit crabs! There are 6 hermit crab class pets, who may or may not be the first of the conniving carnavourus cannabils to infultrate the school! And they could easily infultrate our pet shops, then our aquariums, then our homes!!! Nowhere is safe!!! We must prepare for the inevitable apocalypse!!!
These animals are evil! They are responisble for the deaths of countless humans!!!!! Remember, you cannot stop a coconut crab! Run I say run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bekah and Bob are soon to be married! As crazy at it may seem a human is marrying a tree. When I first found out I thought it was insane. Bekah has even kissed Bob before! How disgusting! Bob belongs with me! However, Bekah keeps putting up a fight! She claims that Bob still loves her! Bob should love someone else! Someone is a human version of a plant. Someone like me. I was made to marry a beautiful tree such as him. The wedding invitations have been made already! That's crazy! If I was invited I would crash their wedding party and marry Bob myself! But since I was not invited I will not be going to the wedding or the reception. Instead I will get some friends to crash the wedding for me. I will marry Bob no matter what! Bob is mine! He loves me! Not Bekah! I do not support such an outrageous marriage! I truly hope that after they get married, they divorce! I will never ever let this happen! Bekah's sister is also on my side! She will be the priest for this marriage. And when the time arrives I will make sure that I will have Bob for my own.
By: Um of Umbridge