As you all probably know, Mrs. Monson is our amazing, multi-tasking librarian, secretary, and cake-baker. However, you probably don’t know these things:
Mrs. Monson’s birthday is on April 9, ____ (this part is censored to relate no date and make no cake. And also to make some nifty alliterations). She grew up in Greeley, CO- a true native of Colorado! Not surprisingly for a librarian-cum-secretary-cum-cake-baker, her favorite subject is language arts (or English if you prefer).
Despite the fact that she is about the coolest human at Shepherd of the Hills (yes, human- all that multi-tasking is not, in fact, magic) she does have a favorite planet- Venus.
Now this one I know you don’t know that I know that you- wait, what?- never mind! In other words, get this- if she hadn’t become a teacher, she would have wanted to be a hairdresser! I mean, how awesome is that?
Her favorite color is teal- my favorite color too, despite the fact that it clashes with the yellow-bones-black-eye-sockets look- and her favorite year is 1967, when she married Mr. Monson. Now you do the math so you can tell your teachers that you are smart and shouldn’t have to go to school- next year, how many years will she have been married?
That’s all for today on amazing Mrs. Monson. Don’t forget to thank her the next time you see her!
FROM THE PERSON WHO DIED OF BOREDOM IN THE D.M.V.
I caught the Mysterious Mr. Bradley and asked him some questions that I had for him. Mr. Poppe, was also there as a “translator,” but I wasn’t questioning him. Mr. Bradley teaches 6 classes every day. Those classes are of the classifications of Science, History, and Technology. Since Mr. Bradley is a teacher, he must be at school at either 7 or 7:20 depending on the day. During the interview, Mr. Bradley stated that he likes when students ask him questions and he likes interacting for students. He also said that every day that ends in the letters d-a-y is a bad day. I don’t know if Mr. Poppe’s translation was wrong, or if that’s what he actually said. He also said that a few things he doesn’t like about his job are when he doesn’t want to talk to people, he can’t just stop talking, he needs to teach and there is a serious lack of average students. Mr. Bradley surprisingly doesn’t drink alcohol even though he is over the age of 21 (we think). Another surprising thing about MR. Bradley is that he didn’t want to be a teacher when he grew up. He wanted to be a waffle cone. This is surprising because Mr. Bradley is a teacher……otherwise I wouldn’t be interrogating him. The Bradley’s favorite color is polka dots, he eats 5th graders as food, he likes Reese’s peanut butter cups, his favorite kind of donut is maple bacon, his favorite activity is watching soccer, and his favorite sport is soccer (duh). Mr. Bradley likes dragons, and he says that is his favorite animal. Mr. Bradley is a very interesting Waffle Cone Teacher and we hope to interview him again soon!
In comments please tell us which teacher or staff person we should interview in our next article!
By: The Electric Neon Glowing Cinnamon Fish Stick
Though Bob is not a teacher, I decided to interview him. Kyra was the translator; she is fluent in Globese. He had some interesting thoughts to share on Jenna, Mr. Bradley, and the world in general. He was rather grumpy, do to people cutting down his best friends, the trees next door.
DDHH(me): Mr. Bradley has been talking about turning you into gas for his car. How do you feel about this?
BOB: GET RID OF MR. BRADLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DDHH: Okay, okay! Next question. Do you still like Jenna?
BOB: That’s none of your business, you little seedling!!!! However, I wish she’d never left.
DDHH: What was that?
DDHH: What’s your favorite color?
BOB: Green and red.
DDHH: That’s two colors, but never mind. How do you feel about people cutting down those trees next door?
BOB: They were my best friends! (sob) If Mr. Bradley is behind that horrible tragedy, wanting to use them as gas, I will uproot myself and charge at him!!!!!
DDHH: What do you think about those nice girls dressing you at recess?
BOB: It’s undignified!! They keep dressing me in stuff that’s oddly 90’s!!
DDHH: (musingly) Strange, that’s what Jenna said.
BOB: You mean she saw me in THIS?!?!?!?
DDHH: Yep! Why, do you still like her?
BOB: Nothing of the sort!!!! Now, goodbye!!!!!!
DDHH: Hmm, strange. I’ll keep you updated on the adventures of Bob! Goodbye!
Very strange!! Could it be that Bob is mourning the loss of Jenna? We will soon find out!
By: The Duchess of Deadly Hiccups in the Hall (DDHH)
I interviewed one of the best teachers in the entire school. She is nice, friendly, and is easy to talk to. She is one of the ELC teachers at Shepherd of the Hills. She is Mrs.Susan B. She was my pre-k teacher and I see her around a lot. So the first question I asked her was What is your favorite part about your job? She answered with I really love teaching little kids about Jesus and what He did for them. The next question I asked her was What is your favorite hobby? She said that her favorite hobby was reading. I also had asked How long have you been teaching here? She responded saying that she had worked here for 11 years thats a really long time. It takes a lot of dedication to stay for that long so Good Job for that. I also asked what her favorite color is? I was surprised to hear that it was blue. Blue is a pretty color but I always thought that her favorite color would be purple like a lot of the ELC teachers. The final question that I asked Mrs. Susan B. was What is your favorite food? She had thought about, but she had responded with pizza. So in conclusion Mrs.Susan loves to teach about Jesus she loves to read she has worked here for 11years and she loves the color blue and finally her favorite food is pizza.
By: Kandy with a K